Without Purpose
by Schizzar
Summary: Al finally has his body back and Ed has resigned from the military. He has everything he ever wanted: Al has his body, Winry is his girlfriend, and he isn't in the military. But something is missing and he needs to find it. Yaoi. RoyxEd. Rated for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Ed stared off into space, not exactly paying attention to what he was looking at though if anyone walked by they would have guessed he was cloud watching

**Yes, I started a new story even though two of my other stories are on hiatus! I'm sorry! But this one is going to be short and is already half written up. I'm guessing only three chapters. So somehow Al got his body back and Ed still has his artificial limbs and Roy is Brigadier General. So that's the gist of it! Yaoi. Don't like don't read. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. How it pains me to say those words.**

Ed stared off into space, not exactly paying attention to what he was looking at though if anyone walked by they would have guessed he was cloud watching.

"Hey," a soft voice said.

Ed looked up from where he sat on the porch of Winry's house. "Hi Winry."

Winry sat down beside him, pulling her blond hair away from her face as the wind picked up. Ed made no move to shift the golden strands of hair that whipped around his face.

"Is something wrong, Ed?" Winry asked, concern obvious in her voice.

"No. Why do you ask?"

His words said he was fine. His tone said he was suffering.

"You've just seemed really down lately. I want to know if it was anything I did."

Ed sighed. For six months he and Winry had dated and within those six months, the love he had felt for her died with every passing day. Her love was not enough of a reason for him to live, it seemed. Al had his body back. Sure, he still had his metal limbs but he could live with that as long as Al was okay. He had been looking forward to finally relaxing in Risembool after all of the struggles had ended, maybe even settling down with Winry. But now...

"It's nothing you did, Winry. I just...I think I'm going to go to Central," Ed told her.

"Why?" she asked, clearly surprised.

"I...don't know. I just need a change of scenery though I never really thought I would want to go back to Central. Colonel Bastard is there after all," Ed muttered.

"Ed, don't be rude," Winry scolded, ruffling his hair lovingly. "Can I come with you?"

Ed winced. "Sorry Winry. This is just something I want to do alone. I don't know why...I just...feel like going to Central."

Winry looked away, obviously feeling dejected at Ed's refusal to take her along. "Alright...well...when are you leaving?"

"Probably tomorrow," Ed answered with a shrug before standing up. "I'm going to go take a nap before dinner. See you later."

He headed into the house before she could answer.

RERERE

"Did you finish your paperwork Brigadier Roy Mustang?" Hawkeye demanded as Roy stepped out of his office, saluting him quickly.

"Yes Colonel Hawkeye," Roy answered, running a hand through jet black hair before shaking his head to readjust the hair over his eye patch.

"I'm sorry...about that," Hawkeye said quietly.

"Jesus Hawkeye. It's been two years. Let it go," he sighed, walking past her and striding down the hall.

Hawkeye started after him before thinking better of it and ducking into his office to collect his paperwork. What she found on the desk was a surprise. Not only was all of his paperwork actually done but he had also forgotten his pocket watch. She picked it up, flipping it open curiously. Her surprise grew when she saw that engraved on the side was the inscription: _Don't Forget, Oct. 1._

"What's he doing with Ed's watch?" she wondered softly to herself. She set the watch back down on the desk, picking up the paper work and leaving the room.

RERERE

Roy hated the rain, especially when he had to walk home in it. He could almost guarantee that Edward had perfect weather in Risembool, not a downpour of rain so hard it felt like getting bombarded with jets of water. But despite his hatred for the rain he couldn't help but head towards Maes's grave. As he walked, his thoughts drifted to Edward, much like they had seemed to do as of late.

His thoughts drifted to just six months ago when Edward had given him papers to sign to make his resigning official.

Flashback

"Here ya go Colonel Bastard, I mean Roy," Ed snapped, slapping down the papers on his desk.

"It's Brigadier now, Fullmetal," Roy corrected calmly.

"Just sign the damn papers," Ed ordered.

"As you wish, Fullmetal," Roy said, grabbing a pen and scrawling his signature on the line.

"Thanks, Bastard," Ed said, dropping the title and smirking at Roy's frown. He was free at last!

Ed turned to leave but Roy's voice stopped him.

"You're forgetting something."

Ed turned back around. "What?"

"Your watch. You are no longer a part of the military so that watch will be taken away," Roy said, holding his palm out.

Ed stared at his hand for several tense seconds, a wave of...something washing over his face. It hit Roy hard, and he had no idea why. Ed reached into his pocket, pulling out the watch and flipping it open. Roy looked away as Ed stared at the inscription, almost as though it were too hard to look away. Then he dropped it in Roy's hand, turning without a word and leaving.

Roy stared at the open pocket watch. _Don't forget. Oct. 1._ Roy glanced at the calendar, eyes widening when he saw that it was October first. _Weird. Why would he resign today?_

Not knowing why, Roy slipped it into his pocket with his own watch before going back to his paperwork.

End Flashback

By now, Roy had arrived at Maes's grave. He stared at the grave for along moment, relishing in the feel of the rain pounding down on him and the smell of wet grass. Sure he was cold, but it was like he didn't even feel it.

"I haven't stopped by in a while. Sorry," Roy murmured softly. "Why aren't you ever here when I need you the most?"

Of course, he received no answer. It was times like these Roy was actually thankful for the rain. No one could tell he was crying.

RERERE

"Why?" Al demanded as Ed packed his bags.

"I just...need to get away for a bit," Ed answered. It wasn't a complete lie.

Al sighed and flopped back on his bed, staring at Ed with identical amber eyes. "You're lying, brother. Just tell me."

Ed sighed too, turning to face Al head on. "I don't know Al. I really don't. I just...really don't know."

"Is it because of Winry? Are you upset with her?" Al asked.

"Dammit! No! Why does everyone think that?" Ed hissed.

"Don't take it out on me."

"Sorry Al. Just...frustrated."

"I noticed," Al said, smiling.

"I don't know when I'll get back but I'm leaving early in the morning tomorrow. So..."

"Just write every once in awhile, okay?" Al said brightly.

"Yeah. Thanks Al."

"Of course. I'm your brother, aren't I?"

RERERE

Ed arrived in Central early the next morning and realized he had screwed up...big time. He had never booked a hotel. Oh well. He just had to find one now. As he walked, he took in the still familiar sights of Central, smiling faintly when he passed by Maes's house. He considered dropping in to see Gracia and Elysia but decided to do it later, instead getting settled in.

But, seeing as how fate hated him, someone stepped out of their house at that exact second.

"Edward?"

"Colonel Bastard?"

Roy was shocked to see Ed at first. What the hell would he want to even _be_ here for?

"What are you doing here, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, quickly regaining his composure as he shut the door.

"Like it's any of your business," Ed countered.

"Can't I take an interest in my former subordinates?"

"Go to hell."

Roy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You're acting even more childish then usual. Any reason why?"

"Shut up Colonel Bastard," Ed growled, striding past him.

"Do you have anywhere to stay?" Roy called without first thinking through what he was saying.

"No. I was going to find a hotel," Ed answered, turning to look at him once.

"You can stay at my place."

Roy cursed mentally. What the hell was wrong with him? The words kept coming out before he had a chance to think them through! He knew deep down that he really missed Fullmetal and his stubbornness but that didn't mean he had to go and invite him to stay at his house!

"I think I'll pass," Ed said, turning back around.

Roy easily caught up with him. "Do you even have money to stay at a hotel?"

"Maybe not. I'll manage."

"Stop being foolish. Just stay at my place," Roy ordered, grabbing Ed's flesh arm and dragging him back in the direction of his house.

"Let go," Ed growled, digging his heels in and refusing to budge.

"Don't be stupid. I'm offering you a place to stay, you mind as well take it," Roy sighed.

Ed just nodded, eyes clearly displaying his reluctance to do so. He jerked his arm out of Roy's grasp and trailed after him.

RERERE

Ed was surprised at how neat Roy's house was. He had always pictured Roy to be lazy and pretty much a slob as far as a home life was concerned but it seemed he had been proven wrong.

"There's a bookshelf over there, if you're interested," Roy said, pointing to the left after they had entered the house.

Ed glanced to the left, eyes training in on the wall, which was filled with alchemy books neatly shelved. A couch was below a window with a small coffee table in front of it leaving the room to look very cozy and welcoming.

"I'll be back around five so keep yourself entertained until then," Roy ordered before disappearing out the door.

Ed sighed, dropping his bag on the ground and walking towards the bookshelf. His fingers ran down the familiar spines of alchemy books he had looked at in the past at the library. Feeling a bit nostalgic, he pulled one off the shelf and flipped it open. Before long, he was sucked into the books, rereading all of the information he had learned years ago. In all honesty, it was refreshing.

Ever since he had resigned from the military, he hadn't even thought about using alchemy again. It had become such a big part of his life and it had felt odd to no longer need to practice it every day. Maybe that was part of the reason he had decided to leave Risembool. He was restless.

Noon rolled around and his stomach pulled him away from the books. At least ten were scattered on the small coffee table and even more littered the ground around him. He got to his feet and headed to the right, slipping through the doorway into what he was guessing was the kitchen.

"Holy crap this kitchen is big," he muttered to himself.

A long row of counter tops was on the far wall with a row of cabinets above them. There was a stove to the far left with a dishwasher and one of the counter tops had a microwave on it. To the far right was a refrigerator and in the middle of the tiled floor was a round table with four chairs.

Ed helped himself, quickly making a sandwich and getting himself a glass of water, ignoring the milk in the fridge completely. He settled back down among the books, reading as he ate.

Around five Roy walked back in, hanging up his coat and hat before slipping into the living room, eye widening when he saw the mess of books that now littered the entire room, Ed in the middle of it all.

"I see you helped yourself," Roy commented, picking up his plate and carrying it to the kitchen, dropping it in the sink before returning.

"Sorry. I'll clean it up," Ed said, grinning sheepishly.

"When was the last time you did alchemy?" Roy asked, picking up several books and re shelving them, smirking inwardly when he saw the taller shelves hadn't been touched.

"Probably...when I got Al his body back," Ed answered.

"Has it really been that long?" Roy murmured, more to himself then Ed.

Ed didn't answer, instead finishing up shelving the books. "Thanks..."

Roy smirked. "For what, Fullmetal?"

"Letting me stay here," Ed muttered, shuffling his feet.

"No problem, Fullmetal."

"Can you please not call me that?" Ed asked, glancing up at him.

"May I ask why not?" Roy wondered.

"Fullmetal is from the military. I don't belong there," Ed answered.

"If you insist Edward," Roy said with a shrug. "What do you want for dinner?"

"You cook?" Ed said, smirking.

"No. I just like keeping food around in the house for shrimps who eat too much," Roy countered easily.

Instead of rising to the bait like Roy expected him to, Ed just shrugged, hands slipping into his pockets.

"So what do you want?" Roy asked.

"Whatever. Just as long as there isn't any milk," Ed said.

Roy just smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

**I think only one more chapter after this one. Maybe two. But anyways. Here is the second chapter. I apologize for it being so short! The third one will be up sometime soon I think. I'm also considering lowering the rating. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Enjoy.**

Ed was once again surprised. Roy was an amazing cook, at least when it came to spaghetti. The sauce was perfect and it tasted delicious, not that Ed would ever admit it or anything.

"You truly are a big eater," Roy sighed, scooping Ed's third helping onto his plate.

"I'm a growing boy," Ed told him, digging in again.

"At least we hope so," Roy teased.

Ed's eyes narrowed but he surprised Roy, again. Not a single short rant. _Maybe he's matured. _

"Why are you letting me stay here...and feeding me?" Ed suddenly asked. It had been bugging him all day.

"I suppose...I miss you Fullmetal," Roy answered, surprised with himself for answering so truthfully.

"Don't call me that. And I didn't think you would," Ed muttered. _Colonel Bastard missed me? Really? Did I miss him?_

"So...are you ever going to answer my question?" Roy asked.

"What question?"

"Why are you here, Edward?"

Ed fidgeted in his seat, unsure of how to answer. "I...was restless."

Roy nodded in understanding. "Risembool to quiet for you?"

"No. I just...I don't know," Ed sighed. _But enough of this heart to heart talk. It's freaking me out._ "So...where am I sleeping?"

"My room of course. It's not like I have a guest room or anything. I'll just take the couch."

"What? No. You've done enough, Mustang," Ed told him. "I'm not going to take your bed. Besides, you have work and all I'm doing is lazing around reading old alchemy books."

"I don't have work tomorrow," Roy said. "It's my day off. I was thinking of visiting Maes's grave, if you would like to come with me."

Ed visibly winced. "I uh...okay."

Roy frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. But I'm taking the couch. That's final," Ed informed him.

Roy sighed, seeing there was no way to talk Ed out of it. "We'll share."

"The couch?"

"No! The bed! It's big enough. Besides, it's not like a shrimp like you would take up much space anyways."

Ed let the short comment roll off of him again without saying a word.

_Something is really wrong with him._

RERERE

Around ten the next morning, Roy and Ed began walking towards the cemetery in silence. It would only be the first time he had ever visited the grave and in all honesty, he wasn't sure if he was ready. Maes had given his life to protect them all and he hadn't even spared the time to go to his grave.

When they reached the tombstone, Roy noted someone had already stopped by earlier. White roses were scattered over the tombstone. He watched as Ed stepped forward, gently brushing the stone with his metal hand, obviously lost in thought.

_Maes..._Ed thought, fighting the burning tears that had started at the back of his eyes. If he was alone, he wouldn't have hesitated to start crying but Roy was here and there was no way he would ever show weakness in front of...dammit! He was crying.

Roy didn't know what to say as Ed's shoulders shook from tears. He had always sucked at comforting people. So he did the only thing he could think of. As he wrapped his arms around Ed he felt him tense instantly, almost as though it were a bad thing he had been caught and was now being comforted. But then he turned and buried his face in Roy's chest, letting a sob finally tear through him.

Ed was unaware of how long he stood there, wrapped in the warmth of Roy's arms as he cried. Just being here, visiting Maes...it tore at his heart and made him feel empty and without a purpose all over again. And honestly...he didn't know how to fix it.

RERERE

After Ed had finally calmed down, Roy and Ed went their separate ways. Ed headed to the library and Roy headed...well, wherever Roy headed. For some reason, Ed just couldn't get Roy off of his mind. The way he had comforted him had been…so…not Roy. He had never realized there was such a soft side to the man he had thought only cared about moving up in the world.

"Ed? What are you doing here?" a familiar voice asked.

Ed looked up as he entered the library, grinning when he saw the familiar face of Jean Havoc.

"Hey. Just visiting, I guess. How have you been?" Ed asked, taking a seat next to the brown haired man.

Jean ran his hand through the blond bangs at the front awkwardly. "Pretty good…so…why did you resign?"

Ed sighed. "I didn't want to be the dog of the military forever, you know. Just long enough for Al to get his body back."  
"How is he by the way?" Jean asked.

"He's good. Really good. It's funny, watching him get used to some things again. The first night he got his body back, he slept until morning two days later."

"Wow. I don't think even I could do that."

"So, what are you doing here?" Ed asked.

"Research. Nothing too important, really. Where are you staying?"

"Ah…with…Colonel…Bastard," Ed muttered, glancing away.

Jean laughed. "Nothing to be ashamed of Edward! Any reason you're here?"

"Nostalgia I guess. I spent so much time here…reading all these books and trying to find out how to get our bodies back…" Ed said quietly. "It's weird, not having a purpose in life anymore."

Jean frowned. "I'm afraid I'm not following you Edward."

Ed sighed. "Never mind. It isn't important."

RERERE

When Roy arrived home that day he was surprised to see Ed curled up on the couch, dead asleep. It reminded him of when he had woken up that morning with Ed curled up in the same position in his arms. He was unsure of how they had ended up in that position but he felt strangely content, despite the fact that he was pretty damn sure he didn't have feelings for the younger.

He stepped closer and realized that the expression Ed wore was also the same from that morning. Pure and utter bliss, nothing like the expression he had always seen Edward wear in the past. He had always seen deep sorrow in those amber eyes; eyes that had seen too much for someone so young. But there was also determination, he couldn't forget that at all, not when he had seen that very determination in action.

It was then that Ed's eyes fluttered open, slowly focusing in on Roy's face.

"You're home," Ed commented.

"Yes. Anything you're hungry for?" he asked, quickly dismissing his earlier thoughts.

"Whatever you want. I'm just tired," Ed muttered, laying his head back down on the pillow and shutting his eyes.

"I'll wake you when it's ready."

As Roy went about fixing their meal he lost himself in thought again. Ed had told him earlier that the only reason he had come to Central was because he was restless but he had the feeling that that wasn't the whole story. He knew there had to be more to it then that and frankly, he was determined to find out what.

RERERE

"Ed…there's something I want to talk to you about," Roy started as he set a plate of sandwiches in the middle of the table.

Ed sat down, eyes narrowing. "What is it?"

"I have a feeling that there's more of a reason for you being here," Roy said, not looking at him. "I want to know why."

"Tch. Even if there was, I wouldn't tell you," Ed scoffed.

"Ed…you're unhappy," Roy said quietly. "It…makes me…worried."

Ed frowned. "It's none of your business."

"I don't like seeing you unhappy," Roy admitted. "To be completely honest, I've missed you a lot. And I have no idea why."

Ed was shocked into silence. What was Roy trying to say?

"What…what are you trying to say?" Ed asked softly.

Roy didn't answer for several heartbeats, staring down at his plate. "I don't even know. I just know that nothing feels right without you."

Ed was silent. His mind rolled the words around in his mind and he found that they rang true for him as well. That's what had been wrong. There was no Roy. He had Al and Winry but...there was something missing. Something very important. And now he knew what it was. It was Roy.


	3. Chapter 3

"I…feel the same," Ed finally said

**The last chapter is here. There's a lime and an implied lemon if you squint and turn your head to the right about two inches. Let me know if you think I should lower the rating. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

"I…feel the same," Ed finally said. "I wasn't happy in Risembool and I didn't know why. It was because…you weren't there. I don't even know why though! I've never liked you at all before so why would I want to be around you now!"

"I can't answer that Ed. I wish I could, but I can't. I can tell you this though. I enjoyed waking up this morning and realizing that I wasn't alone. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want you to stay with me," Roy said quietly. "I don't know if this is love or just longing. I can't answer that either."

"Dammit Mustang! What do you want me to say?" Ed demanded, glaring angrily down at the table.

"I don't want to tell you to say anything. Just say what you need to say."

Ed clenched his auto mail hand tight. He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted to stay here, badly, but he didn't want to at the same time. He didn't want to admit that he might actually be in love with a man he had thought had had hated since they had met. But he didn't know for sure. His feelings were in a turmoil that spun around inside his mind, making him confused and uncertain.

"I…want to stay here too. I want to stay with you. Here," he finally said.

Roy let out a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. "You have no idea how I much I wished you would say that."

Ed didn't say anything in response for several minutes. The air between them was thick with tension and Ed felt a blush creeping up his neck as a thought drifted into his mind.

"Roy?" he muttered, startled at how easily he was able to call him by his first name.

Roy swallowed anxiously. "Yes, Edward?"

"Can you…kiss me?" Ed asked in a strained whispered.

Roy didn't say anything s he stood up, walking over to Ed's side, gently slipping a warm hand beneath his chin and tilting his head up. Ed's eyes slipped close as Roy's soft warm lips touched his and he felt something click inside of him. This was right. This was what he had been missing. He needed this.

Roy didn't deepen the kiss, perfectly content with the gentle touching of lips, his other hand wandering to gently cradle the back of Edward's head. Ed broke away then, standing up and nuzzling Roy's chest lovingly.

"I think I could grow to love you, Roy," Ed said quietly, his arms wrapping around Roy's waist.

Roy let his hands drop to Ed's hips and tugged him closer. "I think I could too. Are you willing to give it a shot?"

"Yes. I have a feeling it's been you I've been wanting all along. Just you."

Ed's voice was muffled by Roy's chest and Roy chuckled inwardly, knowing that Ed was trying to hide a blush that he was positive had engulfed his face. He raised a hand to comb through golden locks, pulling out the tie when he reached it and letting Ed's hair tumble around his shoulders.

"Keep your hair down from now on. I like it that way," Roy told him.

"Okay," Ed agreed. "Anything for you."

RERERE

"Edward…is something wrong?" Winry asked as she opened the door to her house. Alphonse appeared at the stairs before thudding down the rest of the way and coming to stand behind Winry.

After a week of getting used to each other, Roy had finally convinced Ed to come home and tell Winry and Alphonse.

"I think you guys should sit down for this," Ed said quietly, motioning in the direction of the table.

Winry nodded worriedly, opening the door the rest of the way and leading them to the table. She and Al sat on one side, Roy and Ed on the other.

"I guess I should cut straight to the chase. Winry, I'm dumping you and have been dating Roy for about a week now," Ed said quickly, blushing as he did so.

Roy squeezed his leg reassuringly under the table. Winry's expression didn't change for several moments, almost as though she were contemplating something.

"Are you happy?" she asked.

"Yes," Ed answered.

She nodded. "Alright. Just as long as you're happy Edward. And if he ever gives you trouble, I'll help you out," she said, smiling.

Ed breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks Winry. Al?"

Al was still staring at him in slight shock. "I…don't really know what to say, brother. But if you're happy, I don't care who you date."

"Thank you, Al."

"So where are you guys even staying?" Winry asked.

"Roy's house in Central," Ed answered.

"He's eating all of my food, the pig," Roy teased.

"Shut up, Roy. You told me that the food was only around for a shrimp like me," Ed countered.

"I was being sarcastic," Roy said, eyes narrowed.

Winry laughed. "Just promise to visit Ed."

"Of course. I would never just ditch you guys forever," Ed told them.

"Good. And remember, you can always come home," Winry said.

"Geez, you're acting like a worried mother," Ed sighed.

Winry smiled. "I'm just letting you know."

"Thanks."

RERERE

_Two Weeks Later_

"I missed you," Ed mumbled.

"I was only gone for a week, Ed. It wasn't even that big of a deal. We were just checking out a situation, I was in no real danger," Roy sighed as he wrapped his arms around Ed's small frame.

He hadn't even made it in two steps before Ed was suddenly hugging him.

"I was cold without you," Ed added. "God, I sound like a mushy teenage girl."

Roy nuzzled the golden locks. "I understand."

He tipped Edward's head up and fixed his lips gently on Ed's. Ed wrapped his arms tightly around his neck, pulling him down so he could further explore Roy's mouth. Roy grabbed Ed's hips and pulled a way an inch.

"Jump up," he ordered.

Ed obeyed without question, locking both legs around Roy's waist before putting their lips together again, unable to identify the feeling that was bubbling up in his chest and making warmth spread through his limbs in sweeping hot waves of fire. He whimpered when Roy left his lips to kiss his neck, vaguely aware that Roy was leading them in the direction of the couch.

Roy laid him down on the cushions, straddling his waist and nipping at his neck, working his hand around the tie that held Ed's hair together. Moments after he let it down Ed jerked away, eyes bright.

"Roy…I have to tell you something," he whispered.

"What is it?" Roy asked, feeling anxious though he didn't know why.

"I love you Roy. I love you dammit," Ed hissed, wrapped his arms tightly around Roy's neck and pulling himself up to hug him tightly. "I love you. So much."  
Roy nuzzled his neck lovingly, sighing as he heard the words. "I love you too Edward. Don't leave me alone."

"I won't. I promise."

_I've found my purpose,_ Ed thought as Roy laid him back again on the couch and once again began to lavish his neck. _It's to be with Roy…forever. Thank you, Roy._


End file.
